Sex and intimacy do not always happen together. However, when they do you have the recipe for an incredible sex life!
So why doesn't it always happen together? Why do so many couples need relationship help when it comes to their sex life?
To begin, we all know what sex is but do you know what true intimacy with your partner really is?
The best definition of intimacy is a close personal connection between two people on a physical, emotional, and spiritual level.
More explicitly, true intimacy is when you can stand “naked” physically and emotionally in front of your partner, feel loved and accepted, and provide that same love and acceptance back to your partner.
Having this type of true intimacy in your relationship is not for everyone. You see, it takes great courage, a willingness to be authentic, exposed, and vulnerable.
Both men and women can have a hard time with this either because they are just not willing to put themselves in this situation or do not know how.
In the beginning, sex is usually not the problem in most relationships. The attraction, newness, and excitement of one another generally bridges any gap a couple may have with intimacy. However, when that special newness time wears off and the relationship becomes more "real," the lack of intimacy is often exposed.
In order for us to be able to stand “naked” in front of our partner, we must first be able to stand “naked” in front of ourselves. This means, recognizing, embracing, and loving ourselves — even the parts of us that we wish were not there. When we can do this for ourselves, we then have the ability to turn around and do it with our partner creating amazing intimacy in our relationship.
Talking, talking, talking, and more talking are key when it comes to intimacy. This is especially true for women. When a man understands that his woman must feel emotionally close to him to fully open up to him on all levels, he will be more apt to listen when she is sharing with him. Therefore, communicating your ideas, thoughts, feelings, hopes, dreams, and fears with one another is vital in building the intimacy in your relationship.
Understanding one another's sexual language is also a great part of having true intimacy in the relationship. When you understand how your partner expresses him or herself sexually, you are building intimacy. How? Because you are allowing your partner to "speak" to you in a way that feels most comfortable for him or her. Even if their way is not yours, understanding why and how they are expressing themselves helps to avoid relationship problems.
Having real intimacy with your partner is an extremely important part of having not only a great sex life but also an amazing life together.
When I work with a couple who are having trouble in this area they are very pleasantly surprised by how much their entire relationship improves when their intimacy does.
If you would like some help with your relationship please feel free to contact me here.