Relationship Help Expert Bree Maresca-Kramer’s Simple Tools For Effective Communication
The main complaint I hear from men in relationship help sessions is that they feel their woman is never happy with him or his efforts. This usually leads to a man feeling badly about himself and his abilities as a boyfriend/husband. So, this bears asking, why do so many men end up feeling this way? My relationship help clients know the secret. Simply put, the answer is that women are wired to be pursued by their man! When a woman is persued, she feels good! However, when he stops pursuing her she no longer feels good in the relationship and then begins to try to “fix” it. I hear the same story in almost every relationship help session. What commonly happens is the woman tries to “fix” things by sharing her feelings in a way the man interprets as “complaining” and/or “nagging.” Unfortunately, this then creates a negative circular pattern, which leaves both of you not feeling good!
Relationship help for this involves an understanding of men and women and the application of effective communication tools. Men and women are different and how we feel, think, and communicate are dissimilar. Generally speaking, when a man “gets” his woman, he thinks his job is done. However, for a woman that is not the case at all! Your woman always wants to feel pursued by you. It does not necessarily have to be in the grand ways you did it when you were courting her, but she always wants to feel that you love and desire her. Next step in relationship help is learning and applying the specific tools needed to effectively communicate. For example, when you say, Honey, you look great today…she hears, You have not been looking so great lately! However, if you say, Honey you are always so beautiful to me no matter what you are wearing!…she hears, I love you and want you! Once you apply these relationship help tools, what is really going on becomes clearer and you are able to create a relationship in which you both are feeling good!