Divorced With Kids & Dating? Here Is Some Help…
Going through a divorce is hard enough and then when you throw on top of that adapting to becoming a single parent and trying to date, it can become quite an overwhelming mess!
If you are experiencing this in your life it is important to know that you are not alone. Most men and women have a hard time adjusting to their new dating life, especially when they have children.
The good news is that is does not have to be so difficult! With a few simple steps you can create a healthy and happy dating life!
Divorce can have incredibly negative effects on children. The best move a newly single parent can make is to check in with their children to ensure they are coping well with the massive changes that come along with a divorce.
Some children adapt more easily than others do. Some children may outwardly express their upset while others keep everything inside. It is vital to talk with your children and let them know that their feelings are normal and encourage them to express them.
Depending on the circumstances of your divorce, it may be a good idea to seek counseling for your children to ensure they are adapting well. When seeking a counselor, make sure to pick a mental health professional who specializes in treating children.
Finding You Again
Once your children are coping well and adapted to the new way things are, a great opportunity awaits you.
In order to be ready for dating, healing and knowing who you are and what you like is vital. Often, while in a dysfunctional marriage both men and women will lose themselves and become someone they do not even recognize any longer. It is important to take your time to heal first and be really clear on what type of partner you are looking for.
Be sure to pick people to date that like children and welcome them into their life. There is nothing worse than falling for someone who is not a “kid” person! When you first get to know someone prequalify them by asking questions that will let you know if they like children and would be a good role model in your children’s lives.
The most important rule for dating with children is to keep your dating life and your children very separate. This holds true until you become very serious about one person and want to start a real relationship with him or her.
When this happens for you, introducing your children, even adult children, to your new partner should occur under the most comfortable circumstances for all involved.
More Dating Rules
Dating in front of your children needs to be done with a considerate amount of awareness of how your children are feeling about the situation and your new partner.
In the beginning it is best to treat your new partner as you would a good friend. Showing physical affection to him or her too early may create your children to feel as if he or she is a treat rather than a potential new part of the family.
Being a single parent and dating is not easy. I will repeat that since it is so important to understand…being a single parent and dating is not easy at all!
Balancing work, parenting, daily stressors, and dating is a very large and full plate. It takes concerted effort to make sure each area of your life is being attended to fully. Many men and women in this situation find that one or more areas suffer leaving them feeling guilty, overwhelmed, and lonely. The great news is that it can be done!
If you are struggling and need some help please feel free to reach out to me here!
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