Relationship Expert Bree Maresca-Kramer M.A. Reveals How To Protect Your Relationship!
When couples come to me for relationship help they want to find out why their once good relationship fell apart and how to fix it. In most cases, it was the small things that insidiously caused damage over time. These small things eventually turned into big resentments and blocks within their relationship. By the time these couples come to me, there is a lot of healing and transformation that needs to occur.
I encourage all couples to avoid this common mistake by protecting their relationship every step of the way. In order to do this there are a few key steps that should always be taken.
Keep The Focus On The Good!
It is so incredibly easy to look at our partner and see, point out, and pay attention to their negative qualities. On the other hand, to continually notice, mention, and praise our partner’s good takes some conscious work!
How often have you found yourself thinking or talking about something that bothers you about your partner? Now think about how much time you spend thinking and talking about the wonderful parts of your partner. Which one do you do more?
In order to have a healthy and happy long-term relationship it is important to spend more of your mental time and energy focusing on your partner’s good.
Hold Your Tongue!
It is normal to become angry with our partners now and then. This is actually a healthy part of a relationship as it indicates that a boundary has been crossed, an issue has been hit upon, or miscommunication has occurred. In any of these scenarios when the anger is turned into an attack at our partner, it is causing great damage to the relationship. This sounds like simple common sense, however, many men and women unconsciously take their anger and project it at their partner instead of working it through.
Keep A Team-Centered Approach!
One of the greatest mistakes I see in relationships is when a couple forgets they are both on the same “team” trying to win the “game.”
The win to this game is being happy and enjoying life together. Often times a couple will allow life stressors to divide them. When this happens they end up pointing the finger and blaming one another, instead of sticking together and facing things head on as a team. When a couple adopts the team-centered approach they are more likely to handle stressors and difficult times with healthier coping skills.
Any one can communicate but is that communication successful?
To have good communication with your partner you need to know how to share what you want and how to listen to really hear what your partner is saying.
The relationships who make it are the ones who have a solid ability to communicate with each other.
This is such a vital piece of a healthy relationship that I devoted a whole chapter to it in the It’s That Simple! relationship help books for men and women. When a couple has trouble communicating it only creates more problems in the other areas of their relationship.
Remember to Play!
Couples who can have fun and laugh together have a better chance at keeping their relationship together for the long run.
Those couples who allow their relationship to become routine and boring have a much harder time. Life today can be very busy and overwhelming leaving out the fun and joy. Those couples who make a point of doing things together that are enjoyable will experience higher levels of feeling fulfilled within their relationship.
Nationally Recognized Relationship Expert, Acclaimed Relationship & Life Coach Bree Maresca-Kramer M.A. holds a Master’s Degree in Mental Health Counseling, has over fifteen years of clinical experience working with individuals and couples, and has been featured on NBC, CBS, The CW, FOX NEWS, National Radio Programming, The Chicago Tribune, Shape Magazine, In-Touch Magazine, The Nest Magazine, Woman’s Day Magazine, E-Harmony, AOL, and is a Relationship Expert Columnist for The Huffington Post.
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