Monthly Archives: June 2013
How Can I Stop Fighting With My Husband? Help From A Relationship Expert!
Relationship & Marriage Help
Relationship Expert Bree Maresca-Kramer M.A.
Women come to me all the time asking, “How can I stop fighting with my husband?” This is then usually followed by something like, “He drives me crazy I don’t know what to do!”
Does this sound familiar to you?
First, I want to tell you there is great news for you.You are not alone and solving this problem is very possible! Just by hearing that there is a solution should bring immediate relief to you.
However, if you and your husband are fighting so much that you cannot even imagine this is true, rest assured, it is. I have helped couples for over fifteen years find their way back from a very destructive place to a loving relationship.
How?
Real Marriage Help
First, I start by helping you understand the real reason you are so angry with your husband. What I mean is that I work with you to uncover the deeper place where the anger started that has created the pattern of fighting in your marriage. In every marriage where there is fighting occurring there is a undiscovered reason why. I can promise you it is not about him not doing enough to help you out around the house! When the real culprit is figured out, fixing it becomes very simple.
Second, I walk you through a healing and letting go process to free you of these negative and toxic emotions that affect you physically, mentally and spiritually. When a woman allows these types of harmful emotions to course through her body and be present in her life, she is not living at her highest self. Instead, she is living in a suffering mode just trying to make it through each day…this is not a way to live nor how marriage is suppose to be.
Finally, I teach you how to properly identify and then express your feelings so your husband can hear and understand what you are telling him. This may sound over simplified but it is not. I hope you heard the key word in that last sentence…”can.”
You see, most of the time the husband wants to understand but is not able because his wife is telling him in a way he cannot comprehend. This is not to say the wife is at fault by any means. However, when she learns how to present what she is thinking and how she is feeling in a way he understands, amazing healing occurs in their relationship.
In other words, when a woman learns the secrets to talking with her husband, she has the keys to a successful marriage in the palm of her hand!
If you would like to learn how to stop fighting with your husband and transform your marriage into a healthy and loving one, I will help you!
Contact me here and we will get started right away!
For more information on Relationship Help Online please visit Bree’s website
http://itsthatsimple.ws/
Can A Fight End My Relationship?
Relationship Help
Relationship Expert Bree Maresca-Kramer M.A.
“Can a fight really end my relationship?” one of my clients asked with great fear in her voice. She and her boyfriend had a fight and she confessed saying things that were incredibly damaging. She called him names, used curse words, and questioned his character all in a fit of anger. It had been two days since the argument and they had not spoken since. Even though she was still feeling angry with her boyfriend, she was incredibly worried that she had ruined her relationship once and for all by losing her temper.
The fact is that all relationships, even the healthiest one when exposed to harmful fighting can fall apart.
Why?
Relationship Help
Simply stated, relationships are susceptible to breaking down when they are not nurtured and tended to on a regular basis.
When a couple has a knock down drag out fight or continual small arguments that are not resolved, it leaves a residue of hurt and resentments making the relationship vulnerable.
Of course all couples fight but it is how they disagree that makes all the difference. When a couple attacks one another and focuses on inserting their point of view damage occurs to their relationship. On the other hand, when a disagreement arises but is handled with healthy conflict resolution tools and skills, the relationship actually becomes stronger.
So what are healthy conflict resolution tools and skills?
It is the ability a person has to work through a difference rather than allowing the quarrel to accelerate and implode. Most people do not naturally have this ability but must learn how to apply this in their relationship. I like to call this “learning how to fight fairly.”
It is unrealistic to think two human beings in a relationship will never disagree on things; however, it is very realistic to expect they can move through it to a mutually satisfying resolution.
When I work with an individual or couple having difficulty in this area, I teach them how to understand what they are feeling and then how communicate it to their partner in a non-threatening and defense- disarming manor.
This works wonders in relationships!
There are no more petty arguments or big explosions. Instead the couple is able to respectfully and peacefully move past any upset back to a loving place of understanding.
This may sound too good to be true but I promise it is possible!
I have helped couples who were feeling nothing but hatred feelings toward one another and fighting constantly transform their relationship to a loving one.
If you are in this situation and would like to learn how to fight fairly and make your relationship the best it can be, contact me here, I would love to help you!
For more information on Relationship Help Online please visit Bree’s website
http://itsthatsimple.ws/
Sick Of Being Dumped By Women?
Dating Advice For Men
Relationship Expert Bree Maresca-Kramer M.A.
Being dumped is never easy and most of us have experienced at least once in our lives. However, if this happens more than once or twice in your relationships, it is generally due to three main areas.
The first is having a faulty picker. In other words, choosing to date the wrong kind of woman for you. Usually when this happens, the woman is the first to figure it out only to bail on you and the relationship without much explanation at all. The bottom line is that most women want to find the right man to eventually settle down with. If they feel a man is not going to fit that mold or that they are wasting their time, they quickly end the relationship and move on. The key here is to learn how to pick the right woman for you from the start so this no longer happens.
The second has to do with something you are saying that is causing the woman to run. Women listen for red flags that tell her you are not a keeper. If she hears more than a few of these warning signs she will leave the relationship convinced you are not the right one or will hurt her in the end. If you are communicating that you are unstable, non-committal, or just looking for a good time she will be out of there as fast as possible. The problem for many good men who want relationships is that they end us saying things that are interpreted by women in this way.
Finally, you may be missing critical behaviors women look for in men they will seriously date. What does this mean exactly? Well. if you do not pursue her in the “right” way, she will believe that you are not serious about her or the relationship. This can lead her to open herself up to other men interested in her or leaving you all together. The key with this is making sure she feels you want a real relationship with her and are willing to do what it takes to make that happen. In most cases I have worked with, it is the man’s intention to have a great relationship but because he falls short in showing her this, she ends up leaving him.
Over the last fifteen years, with every man I have worked with in this area, not one intentionally did any of these things! That bears repeating because it is so important….not one did any of these three things on purpose.
Instead, they simply lacked vital information about women. They needed to understand how women think and feel along with a little guidance on how to win a woman’s heart so he can keep her and have a happy relationship.
If you find yourself in this boat I can and will help you. Click here to learn more.
I look forward to talking with you very soon!
For more information on Relationship Help Online please visit Bree’s website
http://itsthatsimple.ws/
How To Make Her Happy…Good Relationship Help For Men!
Relationship Help
Relationship Expert Bree Maresca-Kramer M.A.
Does it seem impossible to please the woman in your life? Do you try to “make her happy” but always feel you are falling short? If so, you are not alone as this is one of the major complaints I hear from men about their relationships.
The good news is that with just a little information you can turn this around in no time!
To begin, women are much more complicated and multi-layered than most men would prefer. The way in which a woman feels satisfied in a relationship differs greatly from a man. Hence, the foundation we must always start with is the recognition and understanding that men and women are different. In other words, each gender desires varied things from their partner and their relationship.
The key is to know what your partner wants from you and your relationship.
Seems simple enough right? Then why are so many women constantly complaining that their man is not giving them what they need? Simply because both men and women do not understand how to deliver what their partner is looking for.
Relationship Help
As a man you most likely have simple needs in your relationship. Because of this it seems strange or even annoying that your woman wants much more. In fact, just when you think everything is going well, she hits you with “we need to talk!”
During the conversation she tells you all the ways you are not showing up for her and the relationship. You find yourself either acting defensively or throwing up your arms and saying, “There is no pleasing you!”
However, there is a better way!
After working with couples for over fifteen years, I saw consistent patterns in every couple that caused the relationships to fall apart. The irony is that once the man and woman understood what the other wanted to how to deliver it, their relationship was not only fixed it was better than it had ever been.
To help couples learn this vital information I put it all together in a simple to read and apply self-help relationship book. These books are so unique as they provide men and women with a step-by-step process in understanding themselves and their partner in a way that transforms their relationship for the better.
Simply click below to get your copy and learn how to make your relationship incredibly successful!
A Man’s Book On Relationships, Life, Ourselves And The Healing Of It All
&
A Woman’s Book On Relationships, Life, Ourselves And The Healing Of It All
For more information on Relationship Help Online please visit Bree’s website
http://itsthatsimple.ws/
Is Your Past Causing You To Overreact In Your Relationship?
Relationship Help
Relationship Expert Bree Maresca-Kramer M.A.
Relationship problems arise for a variety of reasons, however, they generally all stem from the same place…unresolved issues.
These culprits are usually triggered by an innocent event yet create major hiccups in even the best of relationships.
When a man or woman has experienced any type of major hurt or abuse, they will be more susceptible to overreacting when the past experience “appears” to be happening to them again.
The word appears is very important to understand here. You see, if it seems as if they are going to be hurt again in the same way they already have been, they are immediately on high alert. Once in this state they usually react with very defensive self-protecting mechanisms.
Relationship Help
In the most severe cases we call this “Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.” A classic example of this is a solider returning home after being on the front lines in a violent war. To further explain, if he is walking down the street and hears a car muffler backfire, it could trigger him into reacting as if he were once again being shot at. He may jump for cover or automatically reach for a gun to protect himself.
In less harsh cases, it shows up as interpersonal problems within their personal and/or professional relationships.
For example, a man who had been taken financially for all he has from his ex-wife is most often going to be hyper-sensitive, even to the point of exaggeration, to the spending habits of the woman he is in a relationship with. She may have normal buying behaviors but if he feels any of it is “too much” he may overreact and appear as controlling.
As well, if a woman has been cheated on in her past relationships, she is much more likely to jump to negative conclusions and accusations with her new partner than a woman who has never had this experience. Even though her new man may have no intention of cheating on her, her antenna will be up and sensitive to anything that looks like he may “do it too.”
In addition, if a man has been burned before with a backstabbing boss, he will be more guarded with his new superior. He likely will automatically not trust his new manager and stay overly attentive for any signs of such traits.
In any of these cases the bottom line is fear. The person is very afraid of having to endure the negative experience they once did. Depending on the individual and how much work they have or have not done to heal their past directly correlates to the problems they will have in their current relationships.
For those on the receiving end of this situation, the best thing they can do is recognize it has nothing to do with them personally but is purely fear being played out. With understanding, compassion, love and good communication these issues can be positively worked through in the relationship.
For those dealing with this issue, the only way to not let your past affect your relationship is to address and heal it completely. According to the experience, this may take a few months or years to accomplish. However, with the right information and tools it can be accomplished!
The clients I work with in this area generally have all experienced one thing, being hurt by someone they loved and trusted. If this has happened with you and you see it affecting your relationship, you can reach out to me for help.
You will learn how to heal and move on with healthy relationship and communication skills that really work!
For more information on Relationship Help Online please visit Bree’s website
http://itsthatsimple.ws/
#1 Complaint Husbands Have About Their Wives!
Relationship Help
Relationship Expert Bree Maresca-Kramer
Even though men do not think, feel, or communicate the same way women do, they do want to have a happy relationship with the woman they fell in love with and married.
Over the course of my career while working with men, women, and couples, one major grievance has remained constant amongst married men. The key issue they report is not feeling respected by their wife.
This disrespect appears in various forms in each relationship but the overall theme is the same. There exists an attitude of disregard and contempt towards them from the very woman whom is supposed to love and honor them.
Relationship Help
Now, this is not to point the finger at women and blindly blame them for this situation. It is merely an opportunity to gain some pertinent information to help relationships and marriages thrive. Realistically this does not occur on its own. In other words, there is a reason this dynamic frequently happens in marriages.
The bottom line is that when a woman acts this way towards the man in her life, it is because many things have taken place along the way in their relationship to get her to this point. Usually, the woman feels unheard, taken for granted, frustrated, and hurt by her perception of her husband’s lack of care and effort towards her and their relationship. Often times she feels as if she has tried everything and nothing works, therefore, she loses respect for him and treats him accordingly.
Unfortunately, this turns into a negative vicious cycle creating nothing by hurt and damage in the relationship.
This is generally when people come to me for help with their relationship. They do not want to walk away from their partner but find themselves stuck as how to get their relationship back to a good place.
I help them by teaching them what the real issues are in their relationship and then how to fix and move past them. It is a step-by-step healing process the takes the relationship to an even better, stronger, healthier, and happier place than they have ever been at before.
If you are in this situation and would like to change your relationship,
I would love to help you!
For more information on Relationship Help Online please visit Bree’s website
http://itsthatsimple.ws/
I Need Help With My Relationship!
Relationship Help
Relationship Expert Bree Maresca- Kramer M.A.
If you find yourself uttering these words there are usually several reasons why. Generally, when a person gets to this point, a number of break-downs have occurred in their relationship. A “break-down” is a piece or part of the relationship that is not longer working well. In other words, one or both partners are experiencing some unhappiness or discontent within their relationship.
Relationship Help
The most common place a relationship begins to see this is in the area of communication. This may sound like a total cliché but the fact is that when men and women stop talking the relationship problems ensue. Often times, this happens quite insidiously. A little irritation here and a little unspoken aggravation there and before you know it the lines of communication shut down.
Once the communication breaks down in the relationship, usually the physical intimacy is next in line. Generally, it is the woman in the relationship that shuts this down first. This happens mostly because she is no longer feeling emotionally connected to her man. In response to this, she pulls away or says no when he tries to initiate sex. He is hurt by this and then pulls away as well causing more of a gap between them.
If there are financial stressors, children, family issues, or health concerns these can all add to the relationship breaking down as well.
So what can a couple do to help their relationship?
Relationship Help
The first step is to always address it head on. This entails sitting down and talking through the issues together. I recommend the couple doing this with a team-centered approach for their relationship. This means that they put themselves on the same team with the goal of transforming their relationship into a happy and healthy one.
The second step is to be honest with themselves and each other. Being honest with how you really feel is a vital piece in repairing your relationship. However, this can be a challenge for couples as they are afraid if they share how they are feeling they will hurt their partner’s feelings. The ironic part about this is the more the couple keeps what is going on inside them the more they are hurting their relationship.
The third step is to create a plan of action to resolve whatever issues have developed in their relationship. This requires working together with set goals and time frames in order to successfully attain them. For example, if a couple is no longer communicating then setting a time each day to “talk” for fifteen minutes about their day and what they are experiencing is very important. I recommend just fifteen minutes in the beginning because it is a palatable amount of time to most couples and they are more likely to commit to doing it each day.
Many couples have a hard time with these steps on their own and reach out to me to assist them. When this happens, I talk with them about what is going on in their relationship and then I share with them how I can teach them to fix it.
If you are in this boat and would like some help with your relationship please feel free to contact me here, I would love to help you!
For more information on Relationship Help Online please visit Bree’s website
http://itsthatsimple.ws/
My Husband Makes Me Feel Inadequate!
Relationship Help
Relationship Expert Bree Maresca-Kramer M.A.
This is unfortunately a common theme I hear from women who are in unhappy marriages. They report feeling very angry and frustrated with their husband along with feeling badly about themselves. It generally negatively affects all areas of their life such as being able to perform well at work, being a good mother, and having energy to enjoy life.
In most of these cases the women never felt this way in the beginning of their relationship. In fact, it usually happened slowly and insidiously over time. They finally get to a place where they realize what was going on and how their self-esteem has been taken a beating.
By this point, they are unsure as to how to handle the situation to make it better. Due to this, many women experiencing this, will turn to another man for comfort, which frequently leads to an emotional and/or physical affair. Although, this was not their intention they find themselves in a position they never planned to occur. Other women will turn to food, shopping, exercise, alcohol (especially wine), or even drugs to feel better. Still others just shut down completely and become numb in order to deal with it all.
Relationship Help
In all of these circumstances there is never a successful solution only temporary band-aids over the emotional pain.
The work I do with a woman entails joining with her as I walk and guide her through a healing journey.
This journey initially focuses on healing the damage that had been done to her self worth so she can feel empowered and good about herself. If she so desires, I teach her how to transform her marriage to a healthy and happy one. However, if she is ready to get out of her marriage, I walk her through a plan of action to ensure that is it done with ease.
If your husband makes you feel inadequate, I want you to know there is hope and a way to makes things better!
You can talk with me and I will help you.
For more information on Relationship Help Online please visit Bree’s website
http://itsthatsimple.ws/