relationship help
How Do I Get My Husband To Listen To Me?
Relationship Help
Relationship Expert Bree Maresca-Kramer M.A.
Sadly, How Do I Get My Husband To Listen To Me? is one of the top questions married women ask me.
Although it is commonly known how important communication is for a relationship and/or marriage to thrive; most do not understand exactly how to go about it.
When a woman communicates with her man, she must have the right skill set in order for her to successfully convey her message. Many women make the familiar mistake of telling their man what to do instead of asking him. A common example of this could sound like, “Take the garbage out!” The reason this does not often work is basically when a man feels he is being controlled, he often will rebel using either aggressive remarks or passive aggressive behaviors.
In either case, he and she will end up angry and most likely resentful. If she had the right effective communication tools, she would know to say instead, “Honey, when you have time could you please take out the garbage? It helps me so much.” See the difference? In this request she is giving her man the freedom to accomplish the chore when he wants to. This way he is not feeling controlled. In fact, he will feel good about helping her out.
The same goes for when a man communicates with his woman. He must understand how to speak to her in a way that she can clearly hear and not misinterpret. The number of times my male clients have told me that what she heard and what he said were two completely different things is astounding.
I have two ways in which to help you with this all too familiar relationship problem.
The first is to work with me personally. I will teach and coach you on becoming a successful effective communicator with your man along with helping you with any other relationship problems you may be experiencing. We can do this over the phone or in person.
You can reach me here or call 704-552-3690.
The second is to read It’s That Simple! a relationship help book for woman. You will learn about yourself, your relationship, and how to have the best relationship you have ever had!
http://itsthatsimple.ws/
Free Relationship Help & Advice From An Expert!
Free Relationship Help & Advice
Relationship Expert Bree Maresca-Kramer M.A.
I truly wish I could help every person looking for help with his or her relationship. Since that would be physically impossible, what I have done instead is provided free relationship help and advice articles on my website www.itsthatsimple.ws.
These articles are filled with important information and tools men and women can use to help their relationships immediately.
The areas in which couples need help with their relationship can range from a slight tweaking all the way to professional assistance. Each man and woman must decide for himself or herself what it is his or her partner and relationship needs to improve it.
Some of the more common areas relationships face problems in and need help include:
Communication
Sex
Intimacy
Financial Issues
Dysfunctional Behavioral Patterns
Family Dynamics
All of these relationship help topics are addressed for free on my site. Help yourself and your relationship right now by visiting www.itsthatsimple.ws.
http://itsthatsimple.ws/
Is Money Ruining Your Relationship?
Relationship Expert Bree Maresca-Kramer
Relationship Help From An Expert
Statistically, one the top reasons relationships and marriages end is because of money issues. Ironically, this does not always mean there is not enough money to cover all of the expenses; it quite often has to do with one or both partners having unresolved anger and/or resentments towards the other concerning money and how it is handled. These feelings often emerge from a breakdown in the couples respect and understanding of one another.
Generally, there exists…
• A power struggle
• A lack of compromise
• Absence of financial understanding
• A scarcity perception
• Mismatched money goals
Relationship Help From An Expert # 1:
There are several things a couple can do to successfully navigate through these waters.
The first is to employ effective communication. This encompasses sharing with one another your ideas, feelings, and fears surrounding the money situation in your relationship. This really is easy to say but often not easy to do simply because many couples do not have the skills.
The great news is that these communication skills can be learned and applied in your relationship immediately. There are two ways to attain this help with improving communication. The first are the It’s That Simple! Relationship Help Books for Men and Women. The second is working with me one-on-one via phone or Skype.
Relationship Help From An Expert # 2:
The second important element to incorporate into your relationship is compromise. This works when both partners are actively participating equally, meaning each is willing to give a little to find the mutually agreeable ground.
In relationships where one partner is adamant that it must be his or her way, not only is an unnecessary power struggle created but a dysfunctional relationship as well.
Believe it or not, I see more married women doing this to their husbands than the other way around.
Relationship Help From An Expert # 3:
Lastly, is the element of mutual respect. Most of the time, when couples come to me for help with their relationship the level of respect they have for one another has been seriously eroded.
We work together to rebuild their relationship first by gaining clarity and understanding of one another. We then move on to how to respectfully treat and talk with the other. From there we incorporate a healthy money consciousness within the relationship. By the time the couple is done, not only are their money issues resolved but their entire relationship has been improved!
Acclaimed Relationship & Life Coach Bree Maresca-Kramer M.A. holds a Master’s Degree in Mental Health Counseling, has over sixteen years of clinical experience working with individuals and couples. Bree has been featured on NBC, CBS, The CW, FOX NEWS, National Radio Programming, The Chicago Tribune, Shape Magazine, In-Touch Magazine, The Nest Magazine, Woman’s Day Magazine, E-Harmony, AOL, and is a Relationship Expert Columnist for The Huffington Post
http://itsthatsimple.ws/
Not Sure About Staying In Your Relationship?
Relationship Expert Bree Maresca-Kramer
Relationship Help
Facing the choice to either stay or leave your relationship is never an easy place to be in. Feeling torn and unsure about what to do can be a torturous experience.
The first step is to gain absolute clarity of what issues are causing you to question the permanence of your relationship. Many times a person may feel it is just easier to end a relationship rather than face what is truly going on. I always advise both men and women to stop before making such a decision and address what is wrong first. The regret of letting a relationship go and later wishing you had not is an even more difficult place to be in.
I am often asked, “Bree can this relationship be saved?” My rule of thumb is to always try and heal what is wrong before exiting the relationship. The only time I would not suggest this is when there is abuse occurring in the relationship.
So how do you try to fix what is wrong? There are several options available:
Relationship Help
- Talk through the things that are bothering you with your partner.
- Come up with workable solutions to resolve what is creating the discord.
- Make a tangible plan of action your partner and yourself can do to make changes in your relationship; and then follow through on them.
- Read a good relationship help book that gives you great information, tools, and guidance on how to improve your relationship.
I recommend It’s That Simple! Relationship Help Book for Men & It’s That Simple! Relationship Help Book for Women.
5.Seek out the assistance of a professional. Be sure to pick someone who specialized in relationships and has the education and experience to deliver the help you need.
Relationship Help
One final thought, before making any major decision about your relationship ending, try imagining your life without the person. Can you see yourself moving on happily without them or will there be something missing? If there will be something missing then be sure to take the steps to save your relationship before just walking away.
http://itsthatsimple.ws/
Looking to Your Partner To Give You Something They Can’t?
Relationship Help
Relationship Expert Bree Maresca-Kramer
In my work over the years, I have found that both men and women enter into relationships with unrealistic expectations. They idealistically jump in with a picture of what a great relationship should be but end up very disappointed when their partner does not deliver it. Some would say that women tend to due this more frequently than men, however, in my work I have found it to be equal on both sides of the sexes.
So Why does this happen?
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Most commonly this occurs because the person feels a certain void or “lack” within them and tries to fill that with their partner.
This never ever, ever works! Why?
Simply because of the fact that a person cannot heal or fix that empty space within another human being. That can only be accomplished by the person doing what I like to call their “inner work.” This inner work involves honestly looking at oneself; the good and the not so good parts, taking personal responsibility, learning how to accept and love oneself and doing the healing work that is necessary.
Relationship Help
Another reason this happens with people is that they have bought into a false idea of what a healthy relationship really is all about. This happens due to television, movies, and music that sell the “fantasy” of a relationship and not the reality of one.
For women, this has commonly been called the “Cinderella complex.” It is the buying into the fairytale of the prince saving her and experiencing a happily-ever-after that does this to women.
For men, there is no such name, yet they hold onto the vision of the “perfect women.” This woman will be beautiful, sexy, smart, talented, want sex constantly and take care of all of his needs while not having any need of her own. Of course this does not exist, but men have also bought into the fantasy.
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So what are realistic expectations to have when it comes to a healthy relationship?
- Everyday will not be magical and filled with grand romance.
- The sex will not always be earth shattering and incredible.
- There will be days where one or both partners are in a bad mood.
- Your partner will eventually do things that annoy you.
- You will wish certain things about your partner were different.
- There will be moments when you will question your relationship.
- There will be times when you have a mis-communication with one another.
- You may go through tough times like a job loss, health issues, or financial struggles.
- You will have to compromise.
- You will feel angry at, frustrated with, disappointed in and hurt by your partner.
However you can also expect:
- Having times when the sex is unbelievable and the Earth does move!
- Your love to grow deeper and more profound as time passes!
- Feeling deeply grateful for having your partner in your life!
- Feeling loved and supported by your partner!
- Wanting to share all the good with your partner!
- Having fun just by being together!
- Creating a life full of meaningful memories!
- Laughing together and sharing joyful times!
- Learning more about yourself!
- Having a best friend and lover to walk through life with!
http://itsthatsimple.ws/
How To Have A Great Relationship! Help From An Expert
Relationship Expert Bree Maresca-Kramer
Relationship Help
Men and women frequently ask me, “Bree, what is the secret to a great relationship?” I have found that what these men and women are really looking for is the answer to, “What am I doing wrong?” Usually, their current relationship is not working or their last relationship ended for reasons they just cannot figure out.
The wonderful news is that with the right information, understanding what works and what does not, a great relationship is very possible!
Relationship Help For A Great Relationship!
Honor
Although the concept of “honor” may seem a bit old fashioned, it is critical for a healthy relationship to occur. So what does a couple look like who honor one another? They show each other respect and treat the other accordingly. When a person respects another they are careful to not offend or harm them in anyway. When a couple does this for each other, they create a strong and lasting bond.
Relationship Help For A Great Relationship!
Kindness
Yes, being kind is vital for a great relationship! It may seem overly obvious that couples should treat one another kindly but surprisingly many couples act very unkindly to their partner. When a man or woman is considerate and acts in caring ways to his or her partner, this creates a powerful and intimate connection between them.
Relationship Help For A Great Relationship!
Communication/Conflict Resolution
One of the top mistakes couples make is not learning effective communication and conflict resolution skills. A couple who does not know how to talk with each other end up having a disproportionate amount of misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and arguments. These then lead to unresolved resentments and a break down in their relationship. This is such a common problem that I dedicated a whole chapter to it in the It’s That Simple! Relationship Help Books for men and women.
Truly, investing in learning in these skills not only saves relationships it creates happier more loving ones!
Having a great relationship does not have to be difficult! Treating your partner as you would a treasure you cherish, learn how to talk with him or her, learn how to work through conflicts that arise and you too can have a great relationship!
http://itsthatsimple.ws/
Why Are Relationships So Hard?
Relationship Help
Relationship Expert Bree Maresca-Kramer M.A.
Believe it or not I hear this question almost on a daily basis! I believe the question that is really being asked is, “Why do I have so much trouble with my relationship(s)?”
To begin, relationships are fragile. Why? Quite frankly because humans are involved!
Each of us, no matter how evolved, have some issues that need addressing and healing. These are the parts that negatively affect our relationships. Makes sense right?
So am I saying that it is impossible for anyone to have a healthy and happy relationship? Absolutely not!
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Great relationships are very possible when you have two partners willing to look at themselves, work on their issues, and come from a place of love. In other words, none of us is perfect but when we take personal responsibility for our own stuff and treat our partner (and selves)with kindness, respect, understanding, and love great relationships happen!
This is quite simple to say but to be honest, not so simple to do for many people!
Living this out on a daily basis takes being focused, determined, and making the daily choice to do so. It is really about making your relationship healthy and happy, a priority each and every day.
The couples I work with want to be able to do this but just do not posses the skills. They were never taught how to effectively communicate, how to be in a healthy relationship, or how to come from a place of understanding.
The beautiful thing is that once they learn and apply the relationship help skills I teach them, they are able to create the relationship they always wanted!
For some couples, the incredible changes in their relationship comes quite quickly; for others it takes a longer time. It truly depends on the level of damage that has occurred in their relationship and the level of commitment of each partner. Honestly, I have had couples screaming hateful things at one another, wanting a divorce turn around to be able to heal and create a loving relationship.
Relationship Help
If you need some help with your relationship, the best thing you can do is reach out for help. There is hope for your relationship! Contact me here and together we will transform your relationship.
http://itsthatsimple.ws/
Does Your Relationship Need The Help Of God?
Relationship Help
Relationship Expert Bree Maresca-Kramer M.A.
Most relationships experience some hurdles that will need to be overcome. These tend to fall into the same type of categories such as…
- Communication Problems
- Intimacy Problems
- Lack Of Compatibility
- Parenting Style Differences
- Differing Life Goals
- Feeling Unloved or Appreciated
- Lack Of Knowledge In How To Have A Relationship With The Opposite Sex
However, those relationships that chose to put God at the center of their relationship have a high rate of success.
Quite a bold statement to make!
However, over the last sixteen years of helping men and women with their relationship, I have consistently found those who have a shared faith, actively pray, and look for the answers to their problems in God, move through their relationship issues much easier.
So, if all relationships are vulnerable to some problems, why do those who have an active faith endure better?
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The top reason is their commitment to their partner and family. They feel that breaking up and/or divorcing is not an option. Due to this, they are more likely to look for solutions to their problems rather than a quick escape route.
Another reason is the moral code they chose to live by. In other words, if they have an intimate relationship with God, then they are more often than not choosing to make morally sound decisions. Therefore, they avoid the traps many other couples fall into such as infidelity.
Finally, these relationships have a foundation based on love and giving versus selfishness and taking. They have a propensity to look to help and support their partner rather than trying to get something from him or her.
Many couples, however, experience times in their relationship when they need some assistance in learning how to talk with one another, parent together, improve their sex life, learn conflict resolution skills, or even how to fall in love again so they can reopen their heart to one another.
If you are experiencing any struggles in your relationship and would like to transform your relationship into a happy, loving, and thriving one please reach out to me here and together we will get you where you want to be!
For more information on Relationship Help Online please visit Bree’s website
http://itsthatsimple.ws/
Broken Hearted? How To Turn It Into A Blessing!
Relationship Help For Men & Women
Relationship Expert Bree Maresca-Kramer M.A.
When someone you care for or love tells you any version of these types of things…
• They feel your relationship is great but they see it headed down the road of marriage and they are not sure that is what they really want with you.
• They have found someone else.
• They do not feel for you what you feel for them.
• They are unhappy and want out of the relationship.
…the emotional pain can be excruciating!
Rejection in any form hurts immediately but it also sends a person into an emotional state that feels horrible which can last for some time. This is especially true when it comes out of the blue and blind sides the person.
The bottom line is when this happens you most likely are shocked, hurting and probably even angry that the very person you allowed into your heart and life has created this heartbreak and pain for you.
The question now becomes what do you do next?
Basically you have two choices.
The first involves you allowing this to turn you sour on love and that person, leaving you damaged.
Yes, you can blame them, think or even say nasty things about them, point the finger and play the victim card of “how can you do this to me?” However, in the end, handling it in this way solves nothing. In fact, it does something even more negative, it creates a layer of pain you carry with you into your life and next relationship.
The other choice, which of course is the reason I am writing this article, is to encourage you to find the lesson and heal.
In every heart break there is an incredible opportunity for personal growth.
Although that may sound a bit “Poly Anna” it is the truth. When we can get out of our own way and stop feeling sorry for ourselves, we can expand our understanding of ourselves, and become a richer and deeper person for it. We can move forward stronger, wiser, and even more capable of fully loving another and ourselves.
How does a person do this?
Well, first there is the pain. Yes, you will have to feel the pain of the person you care for or love rejecting you. It hurts and there is no way of getting around it. You may want to skip this part, which many do, by drinking, drugs, sex, shopping, working, jumping into another relationship…you name it. However, the fact is that to fully heal you must feel and walk through the pain to the other side. This is a vital part of the grieving and healing process for you.
Second, you shift your perception. The fact is that we never own or possess another as our own. It may feel as if that special person is yours but in reality each of us is our own person and on our own journey through this life. If your partner feels not ready for the next step or that you are not right for one another that is their right. For example, if a person is scared of moving forward with your great relationship, it usually has to do with their past experience and fears. Therefore, allowing them to be who they are and where they are on their personal life journey helps you heal.
How? Because you honor the fact that you are separate souls having this human experience and that they are where they need to be to get them to where they need to go. In other words, accepting the truth of what is for the person helps you move on more quickly. Holding onto the person or the relationship because of how you feel about them only keeps you stuck in the pain.
There are certainly times when a person wakes up and realizes they threw away the best thing that could ever happen and you are able to reunite and make the relationship work. However the person must come to that awareness on their own. Therefore, chasing them, trying to convince them of how great you are, or that you belong together does not work. Accepting what is and moving forward in the healing process is the healthiest thing you can do for yourself.
Thirdly, you search for the lesson in the experience for your own personal growth. Is there anything you could have done better in the relationship? Could you have been more communicative, more giving, more understanding, more compassionate, or more willing? If so, learn from that and take that wisdom with you to do better in your next relationship. Perhaps there is a childhood issue that surfaced for you. Certainly for those with abandonment issues this is an awesome chance to heal that deep wound once and for all.
Finally, you take the good and leave the rest. Instead of trashing the person and your time together you can choose to see all the good and love that you were blessed to experience.
Life is a sequence of experiences that we can always chose to extract the beauty from. After all, if you truly cared for or loved the person that does not go away just because they do no want to be with you any longer. Carry the love and allow it to expand you as a person.
The worse thing you can do is to become bitter and emotionally shut down. Even though that may feel better in the moment in the long run it leaves you empty and void.
In the relationship and self-help books It’s That Simple! for men and women you have the opportunity to walk through the healing process whether you are in a relationship or not. There is a chapter on “Healing The Inner Child” that is incredibly helpful for men and women, especially during a break-up.
If you feel you need more help than a book I want you to know I am here for you!
Reach out to me here and I will help you get through this time and turn it into a blessing in your life!
For more information on Relationship Help Online please visit Bree’s website
http://itsthatsimple.ws/
Can A Fight End My Relationship?
Relationship Help
Relationship Expert Bree Maresca-Kramer M.A.
“Can a fight really end my relationship?” one of my clients asked with great fear in her voice. She and her boyfriend had a fight and she confessed saying things that were incredibly damaging. She called him names, used curse words, and questioned his character all in a fit of anger. It had been two days since the argument and they had not spoken since. Even though she was still feeling angry with her boyfriend, she was incredibly worried that she had ruined her relationship once and for all by losing her temper.
The fact is that all relationships, even the healthiest one when exposed to harmful fighting can fall apart.
Why?
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Simply stated, relationships are susceptible to breaking down when they are not nurtured and tended to on a regular basis.
When a couple has a knock down drag out fight or continual small arguments that are not resolved, it leaves a residue of hurt and resentments making the relationship vulnerable.
Of course all couples fight but it is how they disagree that makes all the difference. When a couple attacks one another and focuses on inserting their point of view damage occurs to their relationship. On the other hand, when a disagreement arises but is handled with healthy conflict resolution tools and skills, the relationship actually becomes stronger.
So what are healthy conflict resolution tools and skills?
It is the ability a person has to work through a difference rather than allowing the quarrel to accelerate and implode. Most people do not naturally have this ability but must learn how to apply this in their relationship. I like to call this “learning how to fight fairly.”
It is unrealistic to think two human beings in a relationship will never disagree on things; however, it is very realistic to expect they can move through it to a mutually satisfying resolution.
When I work with an individual or couple having difficulty in this area, I teach them how to understand what they are feeling and then how communicate it to their partner in a non-threatening and defense- disarming manor.
This works wonders in relationships!
There are no more petty arguments or big explosions. Instead the couple is able to respectfully and peacefully move past any upset back to a loving place of understanding.
This may sound too good to be true but I promise it is possible!
I have helped couples who were feeling nothing but hatred feelings toward one another and fighting constantly transform their relationship to a loving one.
If you are in this situation and would like to learn how to fight fairly and make your relationship the best it can be, contact me here, I would love to help you!
For more information on Relationship Help Online please visit Bree’s website
http://itsthatsimple.ws/