Bree's eHarmony Interview By eHarmony Staff
When Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver first announced their separation, it left a lot of people wondering what went wrong in their marriage. We have since come to learn about the former governor of California's infidelity, but that isn't the only reason that good marriages go bad. So we turned to relationship guru Bree Maresca-Kramer, M.A, the author of It's That Simple! [one for men and a separate book for women] – who has been counseling couples for more than 10 years -- for some answers.
"The major reason is couples stop talking about what really matters," says Maresca-Kramer, who is also a pioneer in the personal growth movement. "They allow their relationship to become robotic or business-like and they let go of the intimacy, the passion, the romance, and the connection, which is easy to do. It takes work to not do that."
In this exclusive interview for eHarmony, Maresca-Kramer shares her thoughts on why people cheat, the signs that a marriage is in trouble, when divorce is the answer and more.
What really breaks up a marriage?
Bree Maresca-Kramer: I would say what breaks up a normal marriage is that a couple stops talking about what really matters and they start talking about the function of life, like the bills, the groceries, the kids and the work schedule. And they stop trying. It almost becomes a business relationship. They let go of the romance, the passion and the intimacy of the marriage. There is also spousal neglect, which basically means they don't make each other a priority. There are financial stressors, especially right now with what is going on. There are sexual problems and ignorance -- ignorance meaning that they don't have the right problem-solving skills.