One of the pinnacle reasons couples break-up or divorce is due to their financial issues negatively affecting their relationship. This occurs due to the many-layered dynamics between money and each partner in the relationship. Either one or both partners may have
- A need for control or power
- An unwillingness to compromise
- A lack of financial understanding
- A poverty consciousness
- Feelings of being used, misunderstood and/or resentment
These dynamics then play out in varied ways in the relationship. Some of the more common examples of this are when:
- One partner is a frugal spender while the other spends excessively.
- One partner budgets his/her finances and the other does not pay attention to spending habits.
- One partner has an expensive hobby that the other feels should not be part of the budget.
- One partner does not share and discuss large financial purchases with the other beforehand.
These types of situations usually lead to a breakdown of communication, loss of respect, and ultimately the ending of the relationship itself.
In order to avoid becoming another statistic and help your relationship thrive there must be effective communication. This entails discussing one's thoughts, feelings, and concerns with the other in a way that does not create an argument. This sounds easy enough to do; however, many couples need real help with their relationship in this area.
Another essential is adopting an attitude of compromise. This means finding a mutually acceptable balance of spending and saving that each partner feels good about. Although, this seems like it could be impossible to get to, with the right communication and conflict resolution skills it is very attainable.
Finally, there must always be a high level of mutual respect for each other. When one partner undermines or negates the importance of their significant other's feelings or concerns, it leads to great damage in the foundation of the relationship.
Although money is a widespread trigger point for both men and women, it is something that can be addressed and healed. I successfully help my clients dealing with this issue in their relationship by addressing the deeper issues for them and their partner. I walk my clients through a process of understanding and resolution in order to create harmony and happiness in their relationship.