Are you in a serious relationship and trying to figure out if, he or she is the right one for you? If so, you are most likely approaching the end of the “Honeymoon Phase” in your relationship.
During the honeymoon phase in a romantic relationship, the air smells sweeter, the sky looks bluer, and the birds seem to sing just for you. You feel filled with hope, excitement and an overall happiness to be alive. You find yourself moving through your day with an extra skip in your step, twinkle in your eye, and heart-warming thoughts of your special someone swirling through your mind. At this time, you simply cannot imagine ever being angry with your beloved, let alone finding anything wrong with them.
"Does it get any better than this?" you wonder.
Then, the unexpected happens, time passes and "real life" sets in. All of a sudden, those things you once found so “cute and adorable” are now the very things that irritate and annoy you!
To make matters worse, your partner is not as cooperative as they use to be and you become increasingly frustrated with them. You realize your previously perfect partner gets in bad moods and can be difficult sometimes.
Yes! This is when the honeymoon phase is definitely over!
At this point you will generally hear people say, “He is just not who I thought he was!” or “She changed, I don’t know what happened!” This is usually the time when people will question the relationship or start thinking they may want to end it.
Unfortunately, those who end the relationship once the honeymoon phase dies down miss the opportunity for experiencing potentially amazing growth — both individually and as a couple.
You see, once you reach a point where you are questioning your significant other, you are presented with the opportunity to look within yourself and address whatever parts within you that may need some healing. As well, the end of the honeymoon phase is also the time when your relationship has the potential to continue growing and deepen from a “honeymoon” love into an everlasting love.
So how do you transition from a heightened state of happiness due to a chemically altered brain during the honeymoon phase into a deep, rich and lasting relationship?
You make a choice. You choose to commit to the process of nurturing your relationship and all the “work” that entails. You choose to stay with your partner, instead of running away, and you become aware that where you are in life, and who are you with, is a choice...your choice.
The “work” part of the relationship comes when your partner triggers some type of negative response in you, such as irritation, annoyance, disgust, judgment, resentment, frustration, impatience, anger or rage. When these responses occur, the work begins. You must now start to:
- Take responsibility for your feelings.
- Stop blaming the other person for your feelings.
- Address the deeper sources of these feelings.
When you do this you allow yourself to progress in your own personal growth as well as build your relationship.
Now, what if you are doing these things and are still questioning if this person is right for you. Then it is time to evaluate your level of compatibility, ability to effectively communicate with one another, and your mutual life goals or lack thereof. As all of these elements are essential to have in a healthy and lasting relationship.
If you can put a check mark next to all of these parts in your relationship and still are unsure it helps to reach out to a professional.
I help both men and women in their dating relationships discover if their current partner is right for them or if there is something deeper they need to address. If you would like some relationship help reach me here.