Losing Yourself in a Relationship

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Girl Standing

Feeling as if you have lost yourself in your relationship, is a common occurrence for both men and women.  It often feels as if “who” you are has been replaced by someone else, a stranger to you.  In fact, it can feel as if you cannot even remember “who” the real you is any longer.  If this is where you are finding yourself, there is good news!  Re-discovering the real you is possible, no matter how long it has been.  

The recognition of how you are feeling along with the simple desire to find yourself again is the first step.  As with any type of positive change in your life, having the recognition of a needed change and the desire to make the change is half the battle. All it really takes is to shine a light on the problem, name the problem and then make and follow through with a plan of action.


After completing the first step, you are ready for the next. This step can actually be quite enjoyable, for you have the opportunity to re-discovery exactly “who” you are.  This step entails a “getting to know you” process.

This process is very similar to the one when you start dating someone.  The initial stage of dating is filled with your desire and excitement to learn everything possible about your new love interest.  This is the same dynamic.  You simply seek to know all you can about you, the real you.  You get quiet within yourself and begin seeking you out.  Ask yourself all the questions you would a new love interest.  In addition, observe yourself; your thoughts, your feelings, your reactions and your overall being.  The deeper you explore, the more you will re-discover or possibly discover for the first time.


Finally, you reclaim who you truly are and move forward in your life living as the real you.  This means that each day, you honor the real you.  You make choices and decisions based upon your authentic self.  You no longer live life just to please others while you sacrifice yourself. Instead you live your life from a clear and strong sense of self which then enables you to truly help and assist others.  Finding yourself again can be a delightful path filled with excitement and joy.  For when we live from the truth of who we really are, we feel happy.  

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