You have probably heard it before, but good communication is absolutely necessary for a lasting healthy and loving relationship. However, I would like to point out the word “good” in good communication.
The truth is that anyone can communicate; anyone can tell, talk to or at, share with, raise his/her voice, or scream at somebody else. However, what makes communication good lies is the delivery of your message and how well you can listen.
In other words, how effectively you communicate your emotions, thoughts and opinions determines whether your communication skills are positively or negatively affecting your relationship.
Effective communication is when your listener hears and understands your message, you hear and understand your listeners’ response, and vice-versa.
This is one of the main reasons couples have problems in their relationship. Due to this fact, I devoted a whole chapter to helping with this relationship problem in the
In these books, I teach men and women exactly how to first understand and then effectively communicate with the opposite sex. You see, men and women are so different that until we understand one another fully, we will run into communication problems in our relationship.
For example, when a woman says to her man, "You never help me around the house!" He hears, "You are not making my happy or living up to my expectations!" This leaves him feeling awful and wanting to pull away from her and their relationship. Ironically, what she is actually trying to communicate is: I feel alone and overwhelmed with everything and I need you.
When I work with a couple, especially when we are focusing on their communication skills, they are amazed when they find out how their partner is really feeling versus what their words are saying. A whole new world of understanding and healing takes place because they finally know what is wrong and how to fix it for good.