7 Steps to Being Better Instead of Bitter
Getting dumped, especially from a serious relationship, is one of the worst emotional pains anyone can experience. Generally it comes as a surprise and feels as if your whole world is crashing down around you. Many report experiencing it as if someone they love has died. The devastating pain in getting dumped is not gender specific. Men hurt just as much as women, though they may act it out in dissimilar ways. So how can you get through the pain and feel good again?
There are seven important steps to ensure you not only feel good again but come out of the experience wiser, stronger, and a better person because of it!
Step One: Feel & Allow Your Feelings
The feelings that emerge from being dumped range from shock, panic, anger, sadness, rage, feeling alone, lost, unlovable, and overwhelmed by the situation. In order to heal, it is vital to face, feel, and go through all of your feelings. Running away from or avoiding your feelings are the worse actions to take as this only prolongs the grieving process.
Step Two: Avoid "Get Over It" Advice
Well-meaning and concerned friends and family will want to help you feel better. Many times they do not have the proper coping skills to share with you or the right encouraging words to inspire you. Instead they may end up telling you things like, "Just let it go ... get over it ... he/she was a jerk anyways ... you deserve better ... you can do better ... he/she is not worth it ... move on." Although they are trying to help, this is horrible advice. In order to mend your broken heart, you must allow yourself the time to go through the natural grieving process. This process consists of four stages -- denial, bargaining, anger, and finally acceptance.
Step Three: Nurture Yourself
Taking the time to do things for yourself that feel comforting and nurturing helps you move through . . .
Cougar Relationships Are All the Rage,
But Do They Ever Work?
A true cougar is a woman who's forty years old or older who exclusively pursues younger men for fun, flings, or relationships. Although an older woman chasing younger men has been around since history began, today we are seeing older women being deliberately hunted by younger men. Why? Younger men are enthralled, intrigued, and turned on by being with an older "hot" woman.
These younger men are typically fed up with the drama, insecurities, and games of their contemporaries. Therefore, a strong, confident, independent, sophisticated, and intelligent older woman is extremely desirable to them. An older woman who feels great in her own skin radiates a natural beauty that is intoxicating to these younger men.
The cougars are generally attracted to a younger man because of his looks, vitality, optimism, and enthusiasm for life. This is very different from men her own age who are often full of baggage and worn out from life. The younger man offers her more energy, stamina, and knows how to have a great time. To top it off, the cougar and her boy toy have more compatible sex drives. If they are both in it for the carefree amusement? it is goodbye fertility and hello fun. Sex no longer is about having or avoiding babies; it is purely just for the enjoyment, which is a major turn on for both of them.
Kim's Double Breakup:
Will Kardashian Fans Leave Her Too?
To have a break up you must first be in a relationship. Well, there certainly was one between Kim Kardashian and her fans. Of course, like any other relationship it is based on trust. Kim's fans give their devotion, follow her every move, buy her products, all while loving and adoring her as she gives them constant voyeuristic opportunities into her and her family's lives. Her fans take pleasure in feeling connected with her. Kim remains famous for being famous and takes it all the way to the bank.
Kim is physically absolutely beautiful, appears to have a good heart, and gives to charity, but is her talent worthy of such an incredible fan base? Can she sing, dance, act, write, or work on scientific discoveries that help humanity? No! Kim has not one of these talents which are often gifted with the reward of such adoration and fanfare. However, she took her beauty along with her sex tape and parlayed it into a multi-million dollar industry and my friends that takes talent!
So how did she do it?
Kim Kardashian May Have Missed The Red Flags,
But Did You?
Most fans of "Keeping up with the Kardashians," if they were paying attention, saw the multitude of red flags that Kim missed. Here are the ones I noticed, which ones did you see?
Just seventy-two days after their storybook wedding, Kim Kardashian filed for divorce stating, "After careful consideration, I have decided to end my marriage . . . I had hoped this marriage was forever but sometimes things don't work out as planned." Later stating, "It just didn't turn out to be the fairy tale I had so badly hoped for."
Unfortunately, when a man or woman is in the lust or romantic stage of a relationship the old adage that "love is blind" really does apply. Kim was incapable of "seeing" the full truth about her partner, Kris Humphries. She only saw the fairytale, not the reality.
Can You Ever Recover From Infidelity?
Following the shocking and painful discovery that you have been cheated on, people frequently exacerbate the damage by "acting-in" through self-sabotaging behaviors. Unfortunately, we are starting to see signs of this in recent photos of Demi Moore, in light of Ashton Kutcher's alleged infidelity. In recent photos, Moore appears emaciated and drawn.
This is one of the more common ways a woman will "act in" after the pain and damage caused by an infidelity. In addition to not eating, a woman may participate in excessive drinking, taking drugs, smoking, withdrawing from daily life activities and responsibilities, random sexual encounters, and/or blaming and emotionally beating herself up as the cause of her partner's adultery.
So why, after such devastating pain from the actions of her unfaithful partner, would a woman do this to herself? It is actually due to a faulty coping mechanism. A coping mechanism is a behavioral tool used to . . .