My relationship has gotten so screwed up and I don't know how… can you help? "Laura from New Jersey"
I have found that this happens more often than not due to all the little things which go unaddressed and then build up over time causing emotional distance, resentments, and a break down in the foundation of the relationship.
Most couples do not see it coming because
I am recently divorced and seeing a therapist. I want to look for someone because I am lonely but I don't want to pick the same type of man as my husband. Can you help?
Dear "Feeling Alone"
It is great you are aware that you do not want to pick the same type of partner. This is actually a very common dynamic, which occurs because we believe that if we just change partners everything will be all better. However, until we address the core issues about what is really going on within ourselves, we will continue to pick the same type of person.
I want to encourage you that right now you are actually in a great place! You are working with a therapist and
How can I learn to give my partner what he needs when our way of giving and receiving love are different? Our views on intimacy differ. Please help!! "Elle Mae"
Dear Elle Mae,
You bring up a great question! I talk a lot about this dynamic in It's That Simple! for men and for women because it is such a common trap for most couples. The first step is coming to an understanding of how you personally feel and express love. The second step
I have been married for 30 yrs to a hard working good man. However, there is a major problem in our relationship. He openly and lustfully flirts in front of me, which makes me not trust him. So how do I approach his behavior? “Deeply Hurt"
Dear "Deeply Hurt,"
First, let me start by saying that I understand how the type of behavior your husband exhibits can hurt you so deeply. The behavior you describe is very disrespectful to you as a woman and as a wife. If you have communicated to him how you feel and how it negatively affects you, there is nothing more you can do on his end. However, there is something you can do on your end. You see, we teach people how to treat us through our words, attitudes, and behaviors. If this behavior is so painful and hurtful to you, realizing that you do have a choice to accept it or not is the first step. I am not saying you must leave the marriage but I am suggesting that you set your boundaries with your husband. For instance,