Confused On What She Wants? Relationship Help For Men!
One of the biggest complaints I hear from men is, “She doesn’t tell me what she wants, she just expects me to know it!” This leaves most men feeling frustrated and angry because their goal is to make her happy. In order to make her happy, he must know what she wants from him and their relationship. He wants to be told exactly how to do it…makes sense right?
It makes perfect sense to men but unfortunately not to women.
Generally speaking, women operate from the mindset of, “If he cares he would know what I want!” To men this is absolutely absurd; however, for women it makes complete sense…hence the problem in many relationships!
I am assuming that if you are reading this article you are a man experiencing this with your woman.
In order to remedy this element in your relationship talk with her. I know what you are probably thinking, “Great! more talking just what I do not want to do!”
The bottom line is that men and women speak distinctly different languages. We think, process, interpret, and hear things in a different way than one another. The key to solving this problem is to learn how to talk with her in her language.
I wrote a whole chapter on how to do this in the It’s That Simple! Relationship Help Book for Men.
To give you an example, you could say something like, “Honey, I want to make you happy but I feel so frustrated because everything I try does not seem to work, can you please help me by giving me specifics of what you would like from me?” Then be quiet and listen. I will repeat that as it is vital in this process…put all your focus on her and listen!
She will be so impressed that you are sharing your feelings and asking for help that she will practically fall all over herself trying to tell you everything that works for her.
The ironic part of this element in many male-female relationships is that she has already told him many times but he never heard it. In other words, she let him know what she is looking for from him but the key is that she did not do it in his language, so he never heard her.
Most men would like their woman to say some form of, “Honey, when you help with chores around the house without me having to ask, tell me I am beautiful everyday, and listen to me when I am talking, especially about my feelings that makes me feel very happy.” However, the chances of this happening unsolicited are low because remember women are operating from the “If you cared you would know” mentality.
As frustrating as this can be for men, once they learn the information they need to talk with her in a way she can hear, all these problems melt away and solutions appear.
Having trouble in your relationship and looking for some help? I work with men all over the country via phone sessions to guide them each step of the way to a better relationship. You can reach me here.
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