Can A Fight End My Relationship?
“Can a fight really end my relationship?” one of my clients asked with great fear in her voice. She and her boyfriend had a fight and she confessed saying things that were incredibly damaging. She called him names, used curse words, and questioned his character all in a fit of anger. It had been two days since the argument and they had not spoken since. Even though she was still feeling angry with her boyfriend, she was incredibly worried that she had ruined her relationship once and for all by losing her temper.
The fact is that all relationships, even the healthiest one when exposed to harmful fighting can fall apart.
Simply stated, relationships are susceptible to breaking down when they are not nurtured and tended to on a regular basis.
When a couple has a knock down drag out fight or continual small arguments that are not resolved, it leaves a residue of hurt and resentments making the relationship vulnerable.
Of course all couples fight but it is how they disagree that makes all the difference. When a couple attacks one another and focuses on inserting their point of view damage occurs to their relationship. On the other hand, when a disagreement arises but is handled with healthy conflict resolution tools and skills, the relationship actually becomes stronger.
So what are healthy conflict resolution tools and skills?
It is the ability a person has to work through a difference rather than allowing the quarrel to accelerate and implode. Most people do not naturally have this ability but must learn how to apply this in their relationship. I like to call this “learning how to fight fairly.”
It is unrealistic to think two human beings in a relationship will never disagree on things; however, it is very realistic to expect they can move through it to a mutually satisfying resolution.
When I work with an individual or couple having difficulty in this area, I teach them how to understand what they are feeling and then how communicate it to their partner in a non-threatening and defense- disarming manor.
This works wonders in relationships!
There are no more petty arguments or big explosions. Instead the couple is able to respectfully and peacefully move past any upset back to a loving place of understanding.
This may sound too good to be true but I promise it is possible!
I have helped couples who were feeling nothing but hatred feelings toward one another and fighting constantly transform their relationship to a loving one.
If you are in this situation and would like to learn how to fight fairly and make your relationship the best it can be, contact me here, I would love to help you!
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