Monthly Archives: September 2013
Stress Killing Your Relationship? Here Is Some Help!
Relationship Expert Bree Maresca-Kramer
Relationship Help & Advice For Stress
Stress creates a break down in our bodies, which leads to a plethora of health issues. However, did you know stress is one of the primary elements that destroy relationships?
In my work, both men and women report feeling stressed out or overly stressed on a daily basis. This causes them to feel fatigued, overwhelmed, anxious, and short tempered, which they often take out on their partner.
Now, these men and women are not intentionally behaving this way to create issues in their relationship, they just do not have effective stress management skills to handle their daily stressors.
In fact, once they learn these skills and use them, they find that their relationship deepens and grows even stronger!
Relationship Help & Advice For Stress
Stop!
The first step in preventing your stress from ruining your relationship is to stop what you are doing and take a break. For instance, if you just come home from work feeling quite stressed out and your wife greats you at the door with a “honey-do-list” tell her you need to stop and take a time out first!
Go for a walk, exercise, take a hot shower/bath, do deep breathing exercises, journal, listen to your favorite music, pray, meditate, etc. By taking the time to participate in a de-stressing behaviors, you will be able to clear the stress from the day instead of taking it out on your partner.
Relationship Help & Advice For Stress
Talk!
Most of the time when people are stressed out they bottle up those feelings on the inside and assume everyone around them, especially their partner, understands what they are feeling. The fact is that no one, especially those closest to you, can know exactly how you are feeling until you tell them.
Therefore, when you feel stressed, you need to communicate that to your partner. Let him or her know what is creating the stress for you. Often times, the mere act of “getting it off your chest” will reduce your stress level greatly.
By talking about your stress, it lets your partner become clued in on where you are emotionally and avoid taking your stressed out emotional state personally.
Relationship Help & Advice For Stress
Plan!
Plan ahead by making a list of de-stressing activities that work for you and have them readily available when needed. De-stressing techniques that work for one person may do absolutely nothing for another. Therefore, it is vital to plan ahead and know exactly what works the best for you.
Someone in the middle of feeling stressed out usually cannot pull it together enough to figure out what to do to feel better. That being said, it is important to keep a copy of your list on the refrigerator, in your car, in your bathroom, office etc.; to ensure you can refer to it quickly and easily and then follow the plan.
Taking care of your stress level is not only imperative for your health it is essential in keeping your relationship functioning on a happy and healthy level.
If you are having issues in your relationship and need help please feel free to contact me here!
http://itsthatsimple.ws/
Divorced With Kids & Dating? Here Is Some Help…
Relationship Expert Bree Maresca-Kramer
Dating Help & Advice For Divorced Parents
Going through a divorce is hard enough and then when you throw on top of that adapting to becoming a single parent and trying to date, it can become quite an overwhelming mess!
If you are experiencing this in your life it is important to know that you are not alone. Most men and women have a hard time adjusting to their new dating life, especially when they have children.
The good news is that is does not have to be so difficult! With a few simple steps you can create a healthy and happy dating life!
Dating Help & Advice For Divorced Parents
Kids First
Divorce can have incredibly negative effects on children. The best move a newly single parent can make is to check in with their children to ensure they are coping well with the massive changes that come along with a divorce.
Some children adapt more easily than others do. Some children may outwardly express their upset while others keep everything inside. It is vital to talk with your children and let them know that their feelings are normal and encourage them to express them.
Depending on the circumstances of your divorce, it may be a good idea to seek counseling for your children to ensure they are adapting well. When seeking a counselor, make sure to pick a mental health professional who specializes in treating children.
Dating Help & Advice For Divorced Parents
Finding You Again
Once your children are coping well and adapted to the new way things are, a great opportunity awaits you.
In order to be ready for dating, healing and knowing who you are and what you like is vital. Often, while in a dysfunctional marriage both men and women will lose themselves and become someone they do not even recognize any longer. It is important to take your time to heal first and be really clear on what type of partner you are looking for.
Dating Help & Advice For Divorced Parents
Pre-Qualify
Be sure to pick people to date that like children and welcome them into their life. There is nothing worse than falling for someone who is not a “kid” person! When you first get to know someone prequalify them by asking questions that will let you know if they like children and would be a good role model in your children’s lives.
Dating Help & Advice For Divorced Parents
Dating Rules
The most important rule for dating with children is to keep your dating life and your children very separate. This holds true until you become very serious about one person and want to start a real relationship with him or her.
When this happens for you, introducing your children, even adult children, to your new partner should occur under the most comfortable circumstances for all involved.
Dating Help & Advice For Divorced Parents
More Dating Rules
Dating in front of your children needs to be done with a considerate amount of awareness of how your children are feeling about the situation and your new partner.
In the beginning it is best to treat your new partner as you would a good friend. Showing physical affection to him or her too early may create your children to feel as if he or she is a treat rather than a potential new part of the family.
Being a single parent and dating is not easy. I will repeat that since it is so important to understand…being a single parent and dating is not easy at all!
Balancing work, parenting, daily stressors, and dating is a very large and full plate. It takes concerted effort to make sure each area of your life is being attended to fully. Many men and women in this situation find that one or more areas suffer leaving them feeling guilty, overwhelmed, and lonely. The great news is that it can be done!
If you are struggling and need some help please feel free to reach out to me here!
http://itsthatsimple.ws/
Why Are Relationships So Hard?
Relationship Help
Relationship Expert Bree Maresca-Kramer M.A.
Believe it or not I hear this question almost on a daily basis! I believe the question that is really being asked is, “Why do I have so much trouble with my relationship(s)?”
To begin, relationships are fragile. Why? Quite frankly because humans are involved!
Each of us, no matter how evolved, have some issues that need addressing and healing. These are the parts that negatively affect our relationships. Makes sense right?
So am I saying that it is impossible for anyone to have a healthy and happy relationship? Absolutely not!
Relationship Help
Great relationships are very possible when you have two partners willing to look at themselves, work on their issues, and come from a place of love. In other words, none of us is perfect but when we take personal responsibility for our own stuff and treat our partner (and selves)with kindness, respect, understanding, and love great relationships happen!
This is quite simple to say but to be honest, not so simple to do for many people!
Living this out on a daily basis takes being focused, determined, and making the daily choice to do so. It is really about making your relationship healthy and happy, a priority each and every day.
The couples I work with want to be able to do this but just do not posses the skills. They were never taught how to effectively communicate, how to be in a healthy relationship, or how to come from a place of understanding.
The beautiful thing is that once they learn and apply the relationship help skills I teach them, they are able to create the relationship they always wanted!
For some couples, the incredible changes in their relationship comes quite quickly; for others it takes a longer time. It truly depends on the level of damage that has occurred in their relationship and the level of commitment of each partner. Honestly, I have had couples screaming hateful things at one another, wanting a divorce turn around to be able to heal and create a loving relationship.
Relationship Help
If you need some help with your relationship, the best thing you can do is reach out for help. There is hope for your relationship! Contact me here and together we will transform your relationship.
http://itsthatsimple.ws/
The Truth Of Why She Is Not Happy With You!
Relationship Help For Men
Relationship Expert Bree Maresca-Kramer M.A.
Does it seem that no matter how hard you try to please her, that she still ends up upset about something you did or did not do? If this describes your experience with the woman in your life, please know that you are not alone!
One of the top pleas for help I receive from men in a relationship or marriage is, “How do I make her happy?”
This common problem in relationships was one of the facets that inspired me to write
A Book For Men on Relationships, Life, Ourselves And The Healing of It All
When the same problem shows up in relationship after relationship, there must be a common denominator as to why. The fact is that there is! What women want from their men is simply not being delivered and the women are very angry about it.
An ironic piece of this relationship problem is that the women are not telling the men what they want.
Why?
Mainly because women have this unspoken belief that “If he loved me he would know what I want from him!” To make matters worse this belief is compounded with “If I tell him and he does it then it does not count!”
Wow! How is a man supposed to win with this impossible trap?
Relationship Help For Men
The first step is gaining an understanding that many women carry this unspoken belief around in them, sometimes not even realizing they have it. When a man understands this, he is able to jump over this hurdle with ease.
The second step is to learn what the majority of women secretly desire from the man in their life. I say secretly because again this is something they will not come out and announce to you.
The third step is to open the door to effective communication so that you and she may move through this problem to a simple and workable solution. The word “effective” is key because communication can go on all day long, but if each person is not hearing the other and reflecting that back in the conversation that communication is never effective.
Relationship Help For Men
After working with men and women for over twenty years, I compiled all of the main issues and problems they face in their relationship and provided an easy step-by-guide on how to solve it in the It’s That Simple! Relationship help book for men.
If you are one of those men who do not like to read or who do not want to read a book to get the answers then feel free to contact me here and we can work one-on-one to help your relationship!
http://itsthatsimple.ws/
Can’t Get Over Her? Relationship Help For Men!
Relationship Help For Men
Relationship Expert Bree Maresca-Kramer
Getting over a woman you truly care about or love, even if you were the one who ended things, can be very difficult. When a man falls for a woman, he has the same heart breaking feelings a woman does when the relationship ends. However, often what he does with those feelings is very unlike what a brokenhearted woman will do. This is the reason men can have trouble really moving on from an ended relationship.
Relationship Help For Men
I say really because on the outside he looks and acts like things are going just fine. Yet on the inside, he carries the pain in a very lonely and quiet space within him. This pain may come up at certain times but he will be quick to shove it back down or run from it all together.
The problem with this is by not facing and healing the pain, it keeps a man stuck from freely moving forward with his life. Instead, he ends up carrying this baggage with him.
Relationship Help For Men
As a relationship expert and relationship/ marriage advocate, I always encourage, both men and women, to try everything first before ending their relationship. That being said, if she or you ended things before working on the solutions to your problems, now is the time to consider reconciliation. It is far better to go back and try again then to spend months or years regretting that you never work things out with her.
Depending on the specifics of the breakup, it may feel like too much of a risk to ask her is there is a chance for your relationship. However, the opportunity of getting back together and being happy with her will only happen when you take this risk.
Relationship Help For Men
What if there is no chance of reuniting with her again? Then it is time to allow yourself to go through the grieving process and heal completely. The grieving process is a natural occurrence so that humans are able to heal from a loss.
There are six steps in this process: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Anger, Depression, & Acceptance.
The way each person moves through these steps is individual to them. One person may go through each stage in order, while another may jump back and forth between the different stages.
The bottom line is to allow and feel all the feelings surrounding the loss of her. As you do this, you naturally heal from the emotional pain and eventually come to a place of peace with the ending of the relationship.
Relationship Help For Men
Another very important part of getting over her is to learn what part you had that added to the ending of the relationship.
The reason this is so vital is that if you do not take ownership of your part, you are most likely going to repeat it in your next relationship.
No matter how easy it is to blame her for all the problems in the relationship, there are always places you can learn from in order to grow personally as well as do better the next time.
If you would like to try to win her back or to be able to fully get over her and need some assistance you can reach me here.
http://itsthatsimple.ws/
How To Win Her Heart! Relationship Help For Men
Relationship Help For Men
Relationship Expert Bree Maresca-Kramer M.A.
My male clients often ask me to let them in on the one secret that will help them win the heart of the woman they are pursuing. The fact is that there is not one full-proof secret that will work for every woman. However, there are certain things a man can do to successfully “woo” almost any woman.
Relationship Help For Men
Pursuit
A woman who is interested in you wants you to pursue her. In fact, in order for her to fully fall for you, she needs to know that you want her and are willing to do what it takes to make it happen.
Many men are lost on how to pursue a woman. They ask me, “Should I open her door or not, pull out her chair or let her get it, call her everyday or let time pass in between conversations, pay for everything or let her pay sometimes?” The bottom line is when you are a gentleman and treat a woman like a lady she feels special and is more apt to open up to the possibility of a relationship with you. There are some woman who feel insulted by these actions, as they feel they are capable of doing it all for themselves. In this case, continue with your gentleman manners and let her know you enjoy treating her like a lady.
Relationship Help For Men
Consistency
When a man maintains his pursuit of a woman, she will feel his intentions are real for her and good. When this happens, she is much more willing to step into a relationship with him.
When a man is inconsistent with his pursuit of a woman, she is much moiré likely to question his intentions for her and look elsewhere.
There is some information out there, which suggests a man should play it cool and keep her guessing in order to hook her. I can tell you emphatically that if she is an emotionally and psychologically normal woman looking for a real relationship, this advice will push her away. On the other hand, if she has commitment issues, daddy issues, or unresolved issues from her childhood or past relationships it will hook her, but the relationship will be dysfunctional.
Relationship Help For Men
Time
When a woman sees a man consistently pursue her overtime, she feels safe to open up her heart to him. A woman who is interested in you, wants you to show her you are serious and not going anywhere. For a woman to invest her heart in you, really let herself go, and fully invest in you; she needs to know you are a safe man to do that with.
http://itsthatsimple.ws/