Did Jennifer Lopez Leave Marc Anthony Because He Was Too Controlling?

Recent reports on Jennifer Lopez’s split from Marc Anthony are claiming that he was extremely controlling and dominating during their marriage. These reports also state that he often became enraged and jealous when her work aligned her with attractive men. As well, that he tried to control all of her wardrobe and career moves.

When a man is controlling and dominating over his woman, the reason has nothing to do with her but instead everything to do with him. A man who is exhibiting these behaviors is doing so from a depth of insecurity along with a very low self-esteem. The more controlling he is, the more his behaviors scream his lack of worth and need to control in order to feel safe and powerful in the relationship. These elements can arise from either abuse or traumas in his childhood or character defects in his personality.

The interesting fact is that in the beginning of the relationship these types of men are often charming, protective, and chivalrous. The irony is that the woman often feels “safe” with him because of these elements. Once he has her securely hooked in the relationship, his controlling and dominating behaviors start to emerge. At this point, the woman has already fallen for him and is so far into the relationship that she may not even notice. As the relationship continues, however, his controlling and dominating behaviors gradually worsen and can become abusive. It is at this time in the relationship that the woman becomes aware of what is happening, but her sense of self and self-esteem has been so shaken or even destroyed that it leaves her feeling helpless and as if there are not any options to get out of the relationship.

Signs of a controlling man include: a violent temper, the intentional act of lowering a woman’s confidence, taking complete control over plans, the constant flip-flop between admiration and degradation, always blaming, not taking personal responsibility, exhibiting jealousy and always keeping a constant watch over his woman’s actions.

If the reports on Lopez and Anthony’s marriage are real, then it definitely sheds light on why she left. For any woman to leave this type of controlling relationship she must have great courage, inner strength, and self-preservation to move forward and re-build her life. Lopez certainly is showing the world she has what it takes to not only re-build her life but to shine and thrive.

Relationship Help Expert Bree Maresca-Kramer provides relationship help books online and free relationship help online.

For more information on Relationship Help Online please visit Bree’s website

Blake Lively Using Rules To Land Leonardo DiCaprio?

There are reports that the Gossip Girl star is using advice from the book The Rules to capture the heart of Leonardo DiCaprio.  Whether these reports are true or not, the concepts of the rules do work.  Why? It’s simple, men and women are different creatures and desire different elements during the courting process as well as in the actual relationship.

Once you capture someone’s heart, to have the relationship of your dreams, you must know what to do with it! It is one thing to play the rules to get someone hooked on you, but if you do not have the tools to have a thriving relationship chances are you will not.

Understanding the differences of how men and women think and feel, having effective communication, and willingness are all vital tools in creating a healthy, happy, and lasting relationship.

Many relationships and marriages fail because each is expecting their partner to understand and act in way, which are not natural for them. For example, it is not natural for a man to need to talk through something in order to process and understand his feelings. However, this is very natural for most women. On the other hand, it is not natural for a woman to isolate and enter into her “cave” when she is stressed or trying to figure things out.  However, for most men this is perfectly natural.

Once we understand the differences between the sexes, know how to successfully get our message across, and are ready to experience a great relationship, we will. Time will tell if Blake  and Leonardo  have what it takes to not just make it down the aisle but to happily stay together.

Relationship Help Expert Bree Maresca-Kramer provides relationship help books online and free relationship help online.

For more information on Relationship Help Online please visit Bree’s website

The New Generation’s Love Story?

Justin Timberlake and Mia Kunis star in the new movie Friends with Benefits set to be released in North America this Friday.  This new type of romantic comedy is sure to be a hit but at what cost?

For those not familiar, “Friends with Benefits” occurs when two friends have a sexual relationship without any kind of commitment.  For many, especially in their twenties, this has become the accepted norm. It is so popular that NBC is debuting Friends with Benefits a half-hour sitcom this fall. The show is set around a group of twenty-something friends as they navigate through the dating world, helping one another out by ending up in the bedroom together.

This prevailing attitude is strikingly lacking one very important element―human emotions and attachments.  Evolutionarily speaking we were made to bond so we can procreate and raise our young, thus ensuring the continuation of the human species. Oxytocin, a hormone released during an orgasm is nature’s bonding hormone, often referred to as the cuddle hormone.

The fascinating part of this biological response, which is not taken into account in the FWB relationship, is that estrogen seems to increase the calming and bonding effects of oxytocin, while testosterone seems to mute them. This explains why many women tend to feel more attached after sex than men do. This would also explain why so many women, who enter FWB relationships, even with the best intentions, end up feeling hurt and empty while taking a hit to their self-esteem.

Sure FWB relationships are often rationalized with such sentiments as, “It is better than being lonely, I am safe with my friend, it is not complicated, I can get my needs met and not have to deal with relationship issues.”  However, the reality of these relationships is that they do end up with issues―whether for the friendship or the individuals involved.  Once a friendship has crossed the line into physical intimacy, it is extremely difficult to keep it intact—especially when one or both develop feelings for the other.

The unspoken price of FWB, especially for women, is experiencing greater feelings of being more isolated, alone, and unfulfilled.  The nature of a woman is to be pursued. She feels beautiful and desirable when the man she is interested in exhibits these behaviors. Having casual sex with her friend who is not in hot pursuit of her or maybe even talking to her about his interest in other women covertly affects her either emotionally or psychologically. As well, the nature of a man is to chase. He thrives in the process of attaining the affections of the woman he desires. FWB short-circuits this process when sexual intimacy is offered so freely leaving him sexually satisfied but feeling as if something is missing.

The bottom line is that there is not a short cut to having a real intimate relationship.  To experience the incredible wonders of a deep love with physical intimacy, one must be willing to risk being vulnerable, opening up their heart, and making a commitment to their partner and their relationship.


Relationship Help Expert Bree Maresca-Kramer provides relationship help books online and free relationship help online.

For more information on Relationship Help Online please visit Bree’s website

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony Split!

Gasps were heard as the news spread about Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony splitting, leaving even celebrities shocked and saddened. After seven years, “We have decided to end our marriage. This was a very difficult decision. We have come to amicable conclusion on all matters,” Jennifer and Marc said in a statement. “It is a painful time for all involved, and we appreciate the respect of our privacy at this time.”

Most are left with this shocking news wondering how do good marriages go bad? Jennifer and Marc certainly appeared as a shining example of a good marriage. There seemed very happy together, often renewing their vows, publically being very supportive of one another, enjoying co-parenting, and working together professionally. So what went wrong?

There are several possible reasons a “good” marriage goes bad. The first being that what looks like a good marriage to the outside world actually is not.  Social graces and social faces are everywhere, not just with Hollywood couples. Another cause, couples with small children are very vulnerable to splitting due to the incredible changes in the dynamics of their relationship.  If they do not have the tools to adjust, often times the marriage will end. A further likelihood is allowing the pressures and incredible stressors from work, children, finances, and daily life to deplete each person and then ultimately the marriage.

As of now, we do not know how Jennifer and Marc found their way to the end of their marriage. However, we can all certainly feel for how painful and difficult it is for them to go through.


Relationship Help Expert Bree Maresca-Kramer provides relationship help books online and free relationship help online.

For more information on Relationship Help Online please visit Bree’s website

Are Brad and Angelina Getting Married Because of Their Kids?

Although allegedly it was infidelity that brought them together, six years later Us Weekly is reporting in a cover story that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are finally getting married.

The speculation is that Hollywood’s Royal Couple is going to tie the knot because as Pitt told USA WEEKEND, “The kids ask about marriage. It’s meaning more and more to them. So it’s something we’ve got to look at.”

Oh Brad and Angelina never do it for the kids! Today’s marriage is meant to be a beautiful bond entered into from a pure place of love and a deep desire to do so—not because your kids want you to.

An important part of what I teach the couples I work with is that their marriage needs to be “The CEO” —at the helm and running the family.  If the CEO (marriage) goes down, so does the whole family!

Many married couples today are allowing their children to run the show, which is one of the worst things they can do. Children need strong unified parents who love, guide, teach, inspire, and motivate them. They do not need wishy-washy adults in the house whom they can boss around and dictate to.  This especially means not allowing them to have the enormous power to tell mommy and daddy to get married!

Relationship Help Expert Bree Maresca-Kramer provides relationship help books online and free relationship help online.

For more information on Relationship Help Online please visit Bree’s website

Bree Maresca Kramer M.A. On “Two And A Half Men” Star Charlie Sheen

It appears that the creator of “Two and a Half Men,” Chuck Lorre, reportedly wants to make sure Charlie Sheen never returns to the show again! Ashton Kutcher is slotted to begin filming early August to replace Charlie Sheen’s character who may be driving off a cliff to his death.

Ouch! To have such a drastic and deadly demise of Charlie Sheen’s character shows real signs of revenge.  This goes to show how important relationships are-especially in the work place!

Charlie Sheen and Chuck Lorre have been fighting it out in the media for some time now.  Their behavior is evidence of their anger and disgust for one another.  But what is under all of this?  Just as in any relationship this anger means one thing…hurt feelings!

We as humans can act in all sorts of inappropriate ways when we are feeling hurt.  Even the best of us can resort to “bad behaviors” when we are hurt by someone we care about or respect.

The solution is never revenge but instead coming to an understanding that there are three sides to every story; the two involved and the actual truth! Each side has their own “reality” of what happened and each is right because in their perception it is what happened.  This is very hard to do when we are insisting on being right. But when we approach it with the goal of under- standing what is really going on, we have the opportunity to get through it, instead of it destroying the relationship.

Who knows if Chuck and Charlie would have approached their hurt feelings this way, “Two and a Half Men” fans would not have to face grieving their beloved character “Charlie.”

Relationship Help Expert Bree Maresca-Kramer provides relationship help books online and free relationship help online.

For more information on Relationship Help Online please visit Bree’s website

The Royal Enchanted Couple-William and Kate-Can It Last?

William and Kate are literally a glowing example of a couple in love. They are a sheer joy to watch as their love for one another radiates out for all to see. The way he looks at her with his love-struck “googly” eyes and the way she blushes when he kisser her is pure romance at its very best!

Not only are they living an enchanted fairly tale royal life, they are actually in the enchanted stage also known as the “honeymoon phase” of their marriage. This is the time when couples are swept away in the romance and excitement. They focus on the good in one another and in sharing a blissful life together. Many assume that their love is so special that their marriage will naturally work itself out over time.

Ah, such a sweet time in a marriage! I do not mean to crush anyone’s fairy tale but the honeymoon does come to an end even for the Royal Couple! They, just as all married couples, will have to navigate their way through the normal developmental stages of a marriage. After the honeymoon phase comes the Reality Stage. This is when the “reality” of each person and their differences turn into power struggles. The next stage for many is the Family Stage, when the couple must transition from a “you and me” to an “all of us” dynamic. Many couples during this time unknowingly let the children take over, allowing the intimacy and romance to become something of the past. Finally, there are the Accommodation and Mature Love Stages. This is when the couple finally finds mutual acceptance, respect, and a real deep love for one another.

For those couple who have the tools to successfully find their way through these stages, they are rewarded with a long and happy life together. Lets hope William and Kate are one of those couples!

Relationship Help Expert Bree Maresca-Kramer provides relationship help books online and free relationship help online.

For more information on Relationship Help Online please visit Bree’s website

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