Sounds easy enough…right? Then why do most men and women complain that their partner is not listening to them?
The answer is simple…because much of the time, they are not listening!
Often, our partners are busy figuring out and preparing what they are going to say next or how they will defend their position, rather than really listening.
I am sure you have experienced the following at one time or another in your relationship. You passionately tried to communicate with your partner about something they did or said that really upset you, all the while you can tell they are not really listening at all.
Usually, this then leads down a negative cycle of frustration that sounds something like...
“You never listen to me…Why do I bother trying to talk to you…You don’t even care about what I am saying…fine I’m done trying to talk to you anyways!”
By this time, your partner and yourself are feeling very angry and frustrated with the situation and each other. You each are feeling badly and to make matters worse the communication never even got accomplished! Sound familiar?
Does the above statement sound familiar? If so, let me start by saying, you’re not alone! “Why is she always bitching at me?” is one of the most common complaints shared by my male clients who are in relationships with women.
In addition, almost every time this question is asked, it is with great frustration and a complete lack of understanding. While you might feel like your woman’s constant complaining will never end, the good thing is — there is a solution!
To start, allow yourself to address the situation from a place of understanding. Before any progress can be made in healing the tension, you must be ready to see things from her perspective, as well as your own.
Approaching your relationship from a place of understanding begins with gaining as much perspective as you can about what came before the "bitching."
Most of the time, your woman is complaining or venting because there is something going on within her emotionally, which makes her "act out" at you instead of effectively communicating with you.
You have probably heard it before, but good communication is absolutely necessary for a lasting healthy and loving relationship. However, I would like to point out the word “good” in good communication.
The truth is that anyone can communicate; anyone can tell, talk to or at, share with, raise his/her voice, or scream at somebody else. However, what makes communication good lies is the delivery of your message and how well you can listen.
In other words, how effectively you communicate your emotions, thoughts and opinions determines whether your communication skills are positively or negatively affecting your relationship.