Bree on The Huffington Post February 2012

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Got Dumped?

7 Steps to Being Better Instead of Bitter

 

 

Getting dumped, especially from a serious relationship, is one of the worst emotional pains anyone can experience. Generally it comes as a surprise and feels as if your whole world is crashing down around you. Many report experiencing it as if someone they love has died. The devastating pain in getting dumped is not gender specific. Men hurt just as much as women, though they may act it out in dissimilar ways. So how can you get through the pain and feel good again?

There are seven important steps to ensure you not only feel good again but come out of the experience wiser, stronger, and a better person because of it!

Step One: Feel & Allow Your Feelings

The feelings that emerge from being dumped range from shock, panic, anger, sadness, rage, feeling alone, lost, unlovable, and overwhelmed by the situation. In order to heal, it is vital to face, feel, and go through all of your feelings. Running away from or avoiding your feelings are the worse actions to take as this only prolongs the grieving process.

Step Two: Avoid "Get Over It" Advice

Well-meaning and concerned friends and family will want to help you feel better. Many times they do not have the proper coping skills to share with you or the right encouraging words to inspire you. Instead they may end up telling you things like, "Just let it go ... get over it ... he/she was a jerk anyways ... you deserve better ... you can do better ... he/she is not worth it ... move on." Although they are trying to help, this is horrible advice. In order to mend your broken heart, you must allow yourself the time to go through the natural grieving process. This process consists of four stages -- denial, bargaining, anger, and finally acceptance.

Step Three: Nurture Yourself

Taking the time to do things for yourself that feel comforting and nurturing helps you move through . . .

 

 

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