Bree Maresca-Kramer

 

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My 55-year-old husband is so stressed out with having to move us for his new job and dealing with the passing of his mother. What can I do to help?


Dear Kiwi,
I understand your deep concern for your husband and his well-being. Your husband is experiencing three major life stressors (moving, starting a new job, and the passing of his mother) all at the same time. This is extremely difficult! Many people have a hard time getting through just one of these stressors and he is handling all three.  

The first step is to understand how difficult this situation is and let him know so. You can say something like, "I understand how hard this is for you."

The next step isextending your support to him. You can do this by telling him something like, "I am here for you in any way you need."

The third step is to take as much of the everyday stress off of him. For example, take care of the home and have a hot cooked meal waiting for him when he returns from work. In addition, I would not ask him to talk about his day unless he brings it up. Tell him. "Whatever you need to do when you get home is fine with me."   If he needs to relax by watching television, reading a book or exercising let him.  Have no expectations of him being able to give to you at all during this time. Once he adjusts and settles in, he should be able to get back to normal interactions with you.

In the meantime, you will need to take care of yourself.  I suggest staying in close daily contact with your support system of family and friends for emotional connection and help. As well, look to yourself to build a new life in your new location and home.  

If all of this does not help and your husband is still not doing well, I suggest getting him to a counselor locally he can work with to help him adjust. If you need any further assistance, please feel free to contact me. I am wishing you and your husband a quick and grace filled transition!  


 

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