Bree Maresca-Kramer

 

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Relationship Help

 

My boyfriend of 10 years says I make him feel bad about himself. I have stopped teasing him because I thought that is what he was talking about, but he still feels the same. Any Advice?

Dear Jill,

Let me start by sharing that you cannot make someone feel badly about him or herself unless they already feel badly about themselves inside.  It sounds as if your boyfriend is communicating only partially about what is actually bothering him. The positive is that he did at least tell you something.

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My boyfriend use to call everyday, it went to just a few minutes a day. He said it was due to working more. I asked if he was avoiding me, he got angry and said I was calling him a liar and to "Have a good life. Goodbye." I want him back Help!

Dear Susanna,

I hear your pain. Let me reassure you that by questioning why the normal level of communication was not continuing, does not translate into you calling him a liar.  It sounds to me as if he took an out when he saw one.  It is vital to pay close attention to a man's actions as it reveals to you what is really going on. In addition, it is vital to pay attention to your own instincts when you are feeling that something is not quite right.  Trust yourself!  As far as wanting him back,

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I love my boyfriend of two years. He is separated and very involved with his wife and kids. He is not making any moves towards a divorce. I am in my thirties and ready to settle down. Help!

Dear "Me",

I understand your mixed feelings. You truly love your boyfriend, however, he is not moving forward with you in your relationship. The bottom line is that his actions are speaking loudly. His enmeshment with his wife and children is a clear indicator that he has not emotionally let go of his family. He clearly is not ready

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My 5-year relationship just ended and he is already dating someone. He kept our pictures, and emails and kissed and held me as he told me he is trying to break up with her. I am really confused. Help!

Dear Debbie,

It is extremely hurtful to have your boyfriend get involved with someone so quickly after such a long-term relationship.  It sounds as if he is not clear on his feelings and is sending you very mixed messages.  This commonly happens when people jump right into another relationship without allowing time for reflection, grieving, and healing to occur.

 

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