7 Things Your Marriage

Counselor Wants You to Know

Learn what experts really think about how well you listen, argue and more
from Woman's Day

See The Article as it Appears in Print, Click Here!

If you’re in marriage counseling, chances are you and your husband are doing most of the talking. But thanks to years of experience, your therapist has plenty of advice that she’d like to share with you, too. Read on to get expert insight on making the most of your sessions.

1. I can tell pretty quickly if your marriage is going to last.

“Within a few sessions I can generally make an educated guess about the future of your relationship,” says Bree Maresca-Kramer, relationship counselor and author of It’s That Simple! “A clear sign that it won’t: One or both of you has emotionally checked out and is unwilling to take any responsibility for your problems.”

2. If you want a pity party, go elsewhere.

“Women are always surprised that I don’t seem outraged or upset by what they’re telling me,” says Joyce Morley, EdD, a marriage and family therapist in Decatur, Georgia. “While I understand your feelings, I’m not going to sit here and cry with you. It’s not my job to be emotional. It’s my job to help make your marriage better.”

Why Good Marriages Go Bad

Bree's eHarmony Interview   By eHarmony Staff

When Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver first announced their separation, it left a lot of people wondering what went wrong in their marriage. We have since come to learn about the former governor of California's infidelity, but that isn't the only reason that good marriages go bad. So we turned to relationship guru Bree Maresca-Kramer, M.A, the author of It's That Simple! [one for men and a separate book for women] – who has been counseling couples for more than 10 years -- for some answers.

"The major reason is couples stop talking about what really matters," says Maresca-Kramer, who is also a pioneer in the personal growth movement. "They allow their relationship to become robotic or business-like and they let go of the intimacy, the passion, the romance, and the connection, which is easy to do. It takes work to not do that."

In this exclusive interview for eHarmony, Maresca-Kramer shares her thoughts on why people cheat, the signs that a marriage is in trouble, when divorce is the answer and more.